Last night 11/27/12

I was in the neighborhood I spent most of my youth growing up in. The house I grew up in was at the end of a cul de’ sac, and directly in front of it was a hill leading down to another street. To the right of it, was a very long, and drastically declining hill leading to another cul de sac. Yet, at the end of this one no houses stood. Only dense forest encircling it.

I was at one of the house on the hill (not the big one) leading up to my house. I was looking at at one the houses and there was a younger guy with what looked to be bleached blond hair, sitting next to a motorcycle on the front porch. He was sitting with his back towards me. The front of the house was glass, and you could see a stair-well leading to an upper bedroom as soon as you entered the front door. I was walking around a bit in the street, and had with me a giant, extremely white bed-sheet. It was whiter than I have seen anything before. It seemed to glow. I was walking beside a gutter, but the gutter’s top was about 10×10 feet and the whole below was the same. I was walking by and fell in, and the whole sucked up my sheet. I yelled to give it back, but did so in a demonic growl. I remember my muscles on my arms getting very large for a moment, and I said, “Return it in Jesus name.”, but in a growly demonic voice. My view then panned up over the whole and it spit it back out and it became folded as it landed on the ground.

I was then looking back at the house with the glass wall, yet this time the young man had morphed into a giant alien outfit. The generic type you see with the big eyes, but it was green. It had a very large head and it turned it’s face towards me very slowly. I gave it a welcoming thumbs up, and it tilted it’s head towards me before returning the thumbs up. I then noticed 2 midget sized aliens running very quickly up the staircase with a plastic sledge hammer, saying that they were going to go beat the girl in the bedroom with it. But it was all in good fun, because it was just plastic.

I was then at the bottom cul de sac. The one at the very large hill with the steep incline. I was goofing around with some younger people and acting a bit immature. I saw there, sitting in a chair, facing left, was Jesus. I have never actually seen Jesus in a dream (aside from one long ago prior to my being cut-off) and I said, “Hey Jesus.” He responded, calmly as you would expect. “Hello Nathanael. How are you?” I said, “As well as I could all things considered.” That was it. That’s all I said to Jesus. I wasn’t lucid enough to realize the oppurtunity I had to ask Him if I belonged to Him, if He could fully restore unto Himself. If He loved me, and if I was doing well.

That being said, the very fact He was there is absolute proof to me that, indeed, I am moving in His direction. I am working out what He expects of me. Possibly He accomplished exactly what He wanted, to say hello, ask how I was doing, and let me say hello to Him. And, in that, I am very thankful.

God, thank you for your Son, my Savior, Christ Jesus.

Jesus, thank you for stopping by and saying hello. I’m doing…as well as could be expected, all things considered.


Sin is important

I am going to start with the dream that I have waited to have since all these dreams began. Starting with my first, terrifying lucid dreams, and finally leading me to this point. A response from God, from Jesus Himself. Leading up to this dream I have struggled with many things, most importantly (and I knew this, but fighting it only continued my struggle with faith), is obedience. Is making the conscious choice, in every given circumstance, to avoid sin.

My visions was scanning over pages, written in English, though only several were legible. On the pieces of paper that scrolled up, down, left and right were drawings of a large complex of buildings. As the words were passing by me site these came into clear view, “on-fence” “commit” “sin…important” “frustrating” “enter the gate” “test…test…test”. As the final phrase was read, on the piece of paper it was written on, was a gate leading into a gating building that was very tall, and featured architecture not seen in our modern world, but was made of what seemed to be primitive materials. I was then looking at a stone doorway, and I heard a preacher speaking and he said, “The air of Christ fills many rooms, but there is no faith in Him.”

I cried out to Christ and spoke a prayer of committing my life to Him, and at this a  great amount of evil was being ripped from my heart, following down my legs and out of my feet. Understand that ever since that day I lost my connection with God, my heart has been, I wouldn’t say “filled” with anything. It is the opposite of being filled, it is completely afflicted. I am in affliction, and have been for almost five years. Any and all progress to follow after, or even BELIEVE God wants me to, has been done so extremely strenuously, and painfully, and lonely.

This dream, this dream is the first dream in nearly 5 years that Jesus Himself has spoken to me. I have had demons, non-humans that looked human, fallen-angels and God serving ones speak to me. I’ve seen people made of burning coal, demons working drive-through with as many eyes as a fly. I’ve seen demons in hell. I’ve seen Satan himself 3 times. I’ve been lied to, I’ve had people offer me “a way out of this agony. A simple short-circuiting and it would be peaceful again.” I’ve heard Christ referred to as the “Fallen King”, and God the “Big Baby.” I’ve heard much, I’ve seen much, I’m learned much and now I’m going to share it all. I do it in hopes to bring light to the truth of God. The salvation found in His Son, and call placed on those calling themselves Christians to obedience in living as Christ. Not justifying sin because we’re “forgiven”, while also not purporting that salvation is gained through works. I hope that my words might help better explain God’s truth to those seeking it, and help them understand that we are less alive when we are awake, then we are when we sleep. Evil is real. God, and an absolute truth exist. I pray that all of the terror, and pain that I have suffered would in the end, be the refinement by fire that some are called. I pray that in my obedience of finally telling others of Christ, and His truth, that it would be the working out of the calling and reason placed on me by God. To Him be the glory, the Honor, and praise. Christ Jesus, you are my Savior, the King of Heaven, my mediator, my redeemer, my brother, my friend. God, you are all things good. For me to have taken for advantage the calling placed on me, to remain rebellious and knowingly walk in darkness, to never apply the gifts you have given me I ask forgiveness. I also pray that You would put into Your great use the great things of pain, and hurt, and questioning that sprung forth in my life.  ALL things for the glory of God.

“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it.”    Matthew 7:13

“”If you love me, you will obey what I command.” John 14:15

“This third I will bring into the fire; I will refine them like silver and test them like gold. They will call on my name and I will answer them; I will say, ‘They are my people,’ and they will say, ‘The LORD is our God.'” Zechariah 13:9

“No one, sir,” she said. “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.” John 8:11

“To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps.” 1 Peter 2:21

“6 No one who lives in him keeps on sinning. No one who continues to sin has either seen him or known him.” 1 John 3

My First Day

This has been a long road. It was, for a very long time, a wide and open road. With plenty of room for traps, diversions, used-cars salesmen and exits that led to no where. Along the way I traveled at top speed in some moments, others I came to a crawl and broke down completely. I’ve some very close calls, minor fender benders, and one very big head-on collision. Hanging by a thread, my pulse barely beating, I stood outside myself looking on with horror. I knew that I had played chicken too long, and that this was the end of me. I was asked by the Dr. if I wished to give up the fight, I declined. I knew there was a destination I was headed, I was sure of it. No way would I have been able to make it as far as I had without something waiting for me at the end, no way I would have fought as hard as I had to have made it, even lying on my death bed, to just give it up now. I had no idea the fight I was in for, what little I knew about the road I was driving on all along, or just how much I had to go. This is my first day, finally driving on that road, steady at the wheel, checking my mirrors, using my turn signals, following my GPS, and finally knowing my destination. This blog is my first on-ramp towards my goal.